LORD BYRON (1788)
Where is my Mother?
Lord Byron had some funny habits. Sometimes he liked to take the ‘i’ off the word ‘it.’ Of course, he would add an apostrophe before the ‘t’ and thus it would read:
I’ve spent a lot of time studying Lord Byron, and so far that’s the only mistake that I have seen him make. I mean, it looks like a mistake. Although it would be misleading and pretentious to suggest that all I do is study Lord Byron: I do not. I also swim in waterfalls in Brazil, I also drink Bekerovka in Prague with las mujeres de la calles. To suggest that all I do is study Lord Byron would be to give the appearance of boasting. Yesterday, for example, rather than study Lord Byron, I harpooned a sting ray as it floated in a Floridian canal. Today I took off my clothes and entered into a new world. You know what else? I was born in a crossfire hurricane. Animals from the spirit world hearken to greet me. I use a cobra snake for a necktie. I am the only one, among my four brothers, who can swallow the ocean. Also: where is my mother?
There is no more to be said at this time about Lord Byron.