Tales from Normal Street

James Claffey

II

The credit cards are nestled behind the bottle of tequila in the fridge. They should be defrosting in the flower vase on the kitchen counter. This means no excessive spending on needless electronics like the fancy amp in the window of the stereo shop in the village. Maybe for dinner Cassette Tape will create a tequila-and-pastry version of steak-and-kidney pie, and later the Swingline Stapler will perform the annual oral sex event. Highly possible, especially if the pastry/tequila combination leans to the tequila side of things. The last time there’d been “oral” in the house they listened to string music and ate chocolate-covered banana slivers. Swingline Stapler doesn’t like getting the metal piece where the staples come out trapped in the dark brown ribbon that oozes from Cassette Tape’s lower parts. This is why, once a year, like it or not, they agree to perform oral sex on each other. As for Swingline Stapler’s preference? That falls on the side of a carefully inserted object right at the hole underneath the Stapler’s lower arm. Cassette Tape’s cool plastic tongue loves to lick the icky sticky pink butt plug as it wobbles in the Stapler’s arsehole.

About the Work

James Claffey

James Claffey hails from County Westmeath, Ireland, and lives on an avocado ranch in Carpinteria, CA, with his wife, the writer and artist, Maureen Foley, their daughter, Maisie, and Australian cattle-dog, Rua. He is the winner of the Linnet’s Wings Audio Prose Competition. He received his MFA from Louisiana State University, where he was awarded the Kent Gramm Prize for Non-Fiction. His work appears in many places including The New Orleans Review, Connotation Press, A-Minor Magazine, Literary Orphans, and Gone Lawn. You can read him at www.jamesclaffey.com.

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